Archive for category Thrive

3)    We’re not perverts

*When it comes to the way we’re wired… women are pretty complicated. Men are simple. S-E-X…it’s simple. For us, sex is not a side issue in marriage. It’s central.

*For men, sex ERASES problems (car broke down, plumbing needs to be fixed) sex makes it all better. For women, problems erase sex.

* The Bible actually talks a lot about our sexuality.  God doesn’t blush when we talk about sex  He invented it!

The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations…  1 Corinthians 7:3-5

A man’s need for sexual fulfillment cannot legitimately be satisfied anywhere else but in your relationship. He has made a commitment when you married to look to you only for that need. He has restricted himself to you, voluntarily.

Drink water from your own well—share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone?  You should reserve it for yourselves.  Never share it with strangers.  Proverbs 5:15-17

4)    We’re hoping you look as good for us as you do for others

Do you do your hair how he likes it? Do you spend all day in jogging pants and a t-shirt you used to wear for painting the house? We love it when our wives take time to look good for us.

You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way. Song of Solomon 4:7

There are a lot of things that contribute to the beauty of a woman and perfection is not one of them. Attitude, character, the way you talk, the way you interact with others, your level of confidence. Confidence is attractive to men. Carry yourself w/ confidence.  All of that adds to your beauty.

5)    We want to do stuff with you

The couple that plays together stays together. Be willing to have FUN with your husband (Hunting, fishing, movies, etc.)

If over the last 20 years you relationship has gotten into some bad habits, there is no way we’ll fix it in 2 minutes, but you can  apply these things and you can watch your marriage go the distance!

Ladies this Sunday is for you, We are talking about  “What women whish Men Knew” …..

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:7

The GOAL of our marriages is that we would go the distance! Because the last day of your marriage is far more important than the first day of your marriage. The goal is not to have an amazing wedding (which isn’t bad). The goal is to have an amazing marriage.

What Men Wish Women Knew:

1) We aren’t WOMEN

When you ask a women what she wants in a man, she describes another woman! We aren’t women. We are different. We see life through different lenses. We hear, say and interpret things differently…

2) We’re going to spend time where we feel competent and respected.

Ladies – THE RELATIONSHIP OR ENVIRONMENT IN WHICH WE FEEL MOST COMPETENT AS MEN (The environments where we feel we can LEAD, MAKE PROGRESS, SUCCEED and ACCOMPLISH) WILL CAPTURE OUR HEARTS, ATTENTION AND TIME. That’s what we’re drawn to.

So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33

GUYS Remember- your family NEEDS you to be the leader of your home! Most of the time the real issue isn’t whether the wife is willing to take her husband’s lead on something, it’s that he isn’t leading in anything!

Ladies – You would much rather have a guy who loves them and shows affection, but knows NOTHING about the Bible, than a guy who can quote Scripture all day long but tell her to sit down and shut up and take her place in the home.

Ladies – Insult and nagging will not motivate a man. “What’s your problem? What’s wrong w/ you?” If you insulted a woman she would change and do something about it, but if you insult a guy they become more resistant. Respect is huge.

Here’s 7 things for everyone at Thrive Church…..

# 1 I am still blown away that every week people are PUTTING THEIR FAITH IN Christ. I Love it! The last couple weeks were no exception….Life-change is happening. Just a thought…..Stop for a second and just tell God “thanks” for working in people’s hearts – it never get’s old!!!

# 2 Last Sunday – Men we were exposed.…the ladies got a peek inside how we think and yes…even “feel” sometimes. How fun was it to to talk about “REAL STUFF” in church – My prayer is that our marriages become more honest ( that means we stop hiding stuff that eventually destroys our relationships) and helpful, meaningful conversations start happening! That’s the climate that God does his best stuff – If last Sunday was any indicator – this series is going to HUGE for a ton of relationships at our church. ( I’m praying hard it is….)

#3 Thrive, God is re-teaching me a valuable lesson during this series. It’s this…God genuinely cares more about our heart condition – then what we do for him. It is soooooo easy to do “spiritual stuff” as a pastor- preaching – leading – planning (and yes for some of you…simply showing up for church is one of them) and still not fully surrender our hearts to God. Would God hold back and not let me experience “all my ministry dreams” so first….he can get my full attention and have my heart be FULLY HIS! The answer is YES. Then I can be the husband and father that I need to be. I’ll probably struggle with this tension the rest of my life….. As Steven Covey would say it’s about remembering “first things first”….loving Christ first -then serving Him…. is one of them!

#4 It was a privilege to conduct at Daniel Mirabal’s funeral on Sunday night. He was a Thrive’r that passed at age 50. Daniel came faithfully every Sunday. His sister Estella (who Danny brought to Thrive) told me that he woke her up early 2 Sundays ago because “he wanted to get to church early so he could get his coffee and bagel”. He Loved our CAFE and Loved our church. The incredible new is ..the Sunday before he passed he MADE JESUS THE LORD OF HIS LIFE! I’m still in awe of how God was at work in Daniels final days….all I know is our church is better because he walked through the doors…Keep his sister Estella in your prayers – God is Awesome!

# 5 10 days ago we had our first Worship Night of the year! All I can say is the room was electric with God’s presence…It didn’t hurt that band sounded great and people were wanting to experience God’s presence. I guarantee that one of 2011′s highlights will be that we gather monthly to LIFT Christ up. It changes church culture’s, changes team members, heck…it changes us. Hope you make it out to the next one on March 20th. I can’t wait!

#6 Please pray for my wife Jackie, we are moving into the terrible two’s and my awesome little boy has moved into the “throwing stage” – TV remotes, i-phones…you get the picture. She needs some “extra grace” to get through this season. She would never ask for it – so I AM. It means so much to me when you lift my wife up in prayer. Nothing impacts a husband more.

#7 I absolutely cannot wait for THIS Sunday as it will be one of “those services” that people talk about for YEARS…trust me…Ladies don’t miss it!

Tom

PS – check out this video… this is truly what every man wants…

whateverymanwantsinbed

How do you develop healthy Relationships – here are some of the secrets that would help a lot of us take our relationships to the next level…

1. Start with yourself.

Your relationships can only be as healthy as you are -You can’t give what you don’t have
You cannot enjoy others until you enjoy yourself

(Matthew 7 Message) “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, and criticize their faults–unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging……Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them.”

2. Believe the best about people.

Do you ever struggle to give people the benefit of the doubt?

(1 Corinthians 13:7 LB) “If you love someone…you will always believe in him, and always expect the best of him…”

Quote – We see ourselves in light of our intentions
But we see others in light of their actions

Want great relationships? Believe the best in them. If you give people the benefit of the doubt
The fact is, you’ll be a person who is loved by many

3. Always build up – never tear down.

The words you use. The tone of your voice. Studies have been done that reveal the first two minutes of a conflict will almost always determine where a 15 minute fight will end up… just based on words used and the intensity of those words.

And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. James 3:6

Our words cost us a lot. When you get angry and you say whatever comes to your mind… what is that anger costing you? Security in your marriage? Intimacy? When you get jealous and you say hurtful things… what is that jealousy costing you? When you get selfish and not thinking of their emotions… what is that selfishness costing you? Is it costing you trust? Is it costing you closeness? ‘Cause it’s costing you something.

Do you want to be right all the time or do you want to be happy?

(Ephesians 4:29) “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Try this…within the first thirty seconds of a conversation…
Say something encouraging

(1 Thessalonians 5:11) “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up…”

4. Help people win.

Why? That’s what God does for us – He is for you – not against

Read aloud…(Psalm 18:35) “You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great.”

5. Stay faithful.

The truth is – there is no perfect relationship. Because there are no perfect people – including us
With all that imperfection flying around – we need to stay faithful. It’s in God’s nature and he offers us help develop faithfulness in ours…..

Going stay home and watch the Rockets beat the Sixer’s tonight!
Tom

PS – If you haven’t signed up for THRIVE 201 this Sunday….I recommend you do it quick. Childcare is provided and we’re having a catered in lunch for everyone to signs up for this kick-off session. Going to be a game changer! E-mail us at info@thrivechurch.cc to get your spot!

“What kind of relationships do you want?” and “Do you have them?”

We talked about how most of us dream about great relationships when we were young
But too many of us settle for much less than God desires for us. I think our new series is one of the most important series that we have done yet.

Why? The key to happiness and success in life are the Relationships that we start and nurture – Most people can usually trace their successes and failures…to the relationships in their lives

Here are the Critical Questions we talked about last Sunday…

• Am I willing to change?

Jesus said in Matthew…“Unless you change – you can’t enter the Kingdom of heaven

(2 Corinthians 5:17-18) “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ…”

• Am I willing to put others first?

John Maxwell calls it “The High Road Principle”

We go to a higher level – When we treat others better than they treat us

The low road – treat others worse than they treat us
The middle road – treat others the same as they treat us
The high road – always puts others first – no matter what

(Mark 9:35) “If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.”

• Am I willing to let go of the past?

Some of us never go to the next level, because we can’t get over yesterday – stuck in the past

If you’re not willing to let go of yesterday you could find yourself in the same place (or worse) next year

In Life too many people let the problem mean more than the person

(1 Corinthians 13:5) “(Love)… keeps no record of wrongs.”

• Am I willing to give my life for others?

(John 15:13) “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”

Do you want to live? Give you life away

Dale Carnegie said – “You can make more friends in 2 months by becoming interested in other people than you can in 2 years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

Have an incredible week…

Tom

PS – this Sunday we are talking about “what Men wish Women knew” – going to be a “can’t miss” Sunday – bring a friend!

We launched week 1 of “Relationship Rehab” series at Thrive Church. Here’s the highlights….

* We were FULL in both services. In the second we had seats all the way to the sound booth. The room felt GREAT as we talked about with God’s help we can change the trajectory in our relationships.

* We had tons of KIDS running around and having fun on the 20ft giant slide!

* The band sounded GREAT! The music was powerful, especially the closing song “Give me Love”. People asked me who sings the song. It’s the band “Sons of Silvia”. It was a great way to wrap up the message!

* I talked to several families who told me that they DO NOT go to church… but we would see them again next week! EXCITING STUFF!

* Our welcome team were DECKED OUT at the doors in our new series T-SHIRTS! They looked awesome! You could NOT make it into the auditorium without people saying “hello”, “good morning”, or “glad you’re here!”

* Our greeters personally walked each new family back to the kids’ areas! AWESOME!

* Our new prayer team stuck around after service and met with people that are going through big stuff and wanted PRAYER. Loved it!

I want to say “Thanks” to every person that set up the environments, greeted guests and helped new families to our kids area, checked in kids, served coffee, passed out programs, played in the band, invited their friends and neighbors, generously gave financially and prayed for yesterday! Here is one thing we shouldn’t forget…

THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT HUNDREDS OF VOLUNTEERS! THANK YOU to EVERY PERSON that made yesterday A WIN for God’s Kingdom!

Thrive – the way that you serve people is INSPIRING! God’s church has always been and will be about giving your life away for others. That’s where true community begins. You made it easy for people discover the message of grace. I know there are people who are one step closer to opening their hearts to God’s grace, and it’s because of you! THANK YOU!

The best part is that – I believe it is only the beginning of what God wants to do in our community! We are going all out in our efforts to create an life-giving environment for people, and I can’t wait to see what happens next!

Tom

Here is a picture of the kids slide I mentioned earlier…it will be available for the adults to use next week

Sexy looks, extreme athletic ability, tons of money, super creative, Nobel prize intelligence…..these things make someone irresistible to our culture. These are the people that end up on the TV talk show circuit and eventually become a household names to all of us.  They are a magnet for attention, opportunities and exposure….and we hold these people up in high regard and place them on pedestals.

OK -nothing new here – Our desire to be around these people happens every day….

What I want to know is….what makes an irresistible church?  How do you create a place where people are passionate and excited about being apart of what God is doing in this world. What happens when you go to a church where people genuinely care about you and where you are going in life….a place where the pressure to pretend is thrown out the window and everyone understands that it’s about God’s grace -not our effort.

We are going to talk about those questions and more this Sunday as we kick off our new series.  Invite a friend and start praying right now. I think it’s going to be a game changer. Excited to kick off 2011 together.

PS – For all of you loved the 80′s -I have a story about my high school career and NKOTB that I’m planning on telling Sunday…

Tom