My counselor shared a statistic with me two years ago that floored me…90% of the people entering ministry DO NOT RETIRE from ministry, they either quit or have some sort of moral/ethical failure that disqualifies them.

I’m not a rocket scientist…but I honestly do not believe that is what Jesus called us to OR what He wants for our lives.

AND yet so many of us (church leaders) struggle/wrestle with this (usually inwardly because if we said out loud that we are dying inside we fear that people may perceive us as weak!)

Here are ten signs that you are near a burnout and/or meltdown…

#1 – You are beginning to despise people and your compassion for them is continually decreasing rather than increasing.

#2 – You OFTEN think about doing something other than ministry…and your biggest desire isn’t to honor God and reach people but to simply find relief from the pressure that seems to be building daily inside of you.

#3 – You cannot remember the last time you simply had fun with family and friends…and joy is something you talk about but are not experiencing for yourself.

#4 – You are disconnected at home…when you get there you do not want to engage with your spouse or your children, you cannot enjoy being around them…you spend more time online than you do with your family…and you find yourself wanting to sleep all of the time.

#5 – You continually tell yourself and those you love that “this is just a really busy season and that you will slow down soon.”  (However, the truth is that you have been most likely “singing that same song” for years!)

#6 – You are continually becoming obsessed with what others say about you…and one negative comment from someone who does not like you can put you in an incredibly deep valley and cause you to feel hopeless.

#7 – You begin to make easy decisions rather than the right ones…because the right ones take too much work.

#8 – There is no hope in you…and, you actually despair life.  You have actually thought of death…and some have even entertained suicidal thoughts.

#9 – You are experiencing unexplained depression and/or anxiety.  You are even having panic attacks and you can’t explain it!

#10 – You are increasingly becoming withdrawn from family and friends.

“How did you come up with this list,” you ask…it’s quite simple, I went back to December 2007 until January of this past year and listed out the qualities that were the most prominent in my own life.  That’s right…my life!  I went through a trial of intense depression and anxiety during that time period and, the best way I can describe my life would be “dark!”

However, through me swallowing my pride and asking for help, the support of an incredible wife, the support of great friends and seeking out an incredible counselor…and the unbelievable mercy of God I broke free from my darkness this past January.  Oh sure, I still struggle with it more often than I wish I would…but I cannot tell you the incredible feelings of freedom and joy I’ve had since January that I haven’t had in YEARS!

God called us to do a lot of things for Him…but He did not call us to flame out or drop out.  I want what Paul said in II Timothy 4:7 to be true of all of us!  I want us to finish well!

* we now have a place to host volunteers. Currently we have over 50 man hours being given each week – visitor follow up, putting together mailers, event planning, etc..etc… Our goal is to have this facility packed with people doing kingdom stuff each week!

* We now can have weekly meetings for Growth Groups, One youth , staff and Creative Team…no more restaurants or the natural distractions that come with them.

*  The  band rehearsal  happens in the warehouse in back  every week- that’s where they will be working on their first CD for this fall – so pumped.

* It is gives us a hub for planning services, building teams, brainstorming sessions and getting ready for all our weekend ministry.

Did I tell ya, it’s 3 minutes from some of the best ribs in TX – Dosiers BBQ!   The thing we are thankful for how  God opened some huge doors to make this space fit within our budget,  so we can continue to send mailers, hire staff and see God change lives. If our landlord Waylan Bolls is reading this – your the man!  Thanks for all your help.

Here is our  virtual tour…click over the pictures for live video feeds…

Tom

Why RELATIONSHIP REHAB?   FACT:  ALL OF US NEED IT. A Relational Tune up is essential for everyone that wants to “Grow” and have better relationships and less conflict in life.

Well,  Tonight we are headed into 2 of 4 Christmas services at thrive. I am bouncing off the walls right now..I’m excited for our team, all the friends and relatives that will becoming and most of all – I’m excited about what God is going to do in people’s Hearts!  If you still haven’t got your tickets – go online and print them out at www.thrivechurch.cc

If you are still on the fence about coming..get off it now. (Note – sitting on fences only end up hurting your butt anyway)  Grab your friend – call your neighbor – and get in your car and come!   It’s going to be some of our best services yet….

Here are a few HUGE THANK YOUS that need to happen right now…

1.  Jez Babarcy and his whole family – you guys went over and above to make these services shine – proud of ya

2.  Ron Palmero – with out you the light’s would just go “on and off” – now they actually make the presentation better! Nice job

3.  Dave and Tricia Munson – all I can say is..never in my life have I seen two people give so much time to God…what you do is huge -we love you guys

4.  Thrive Band…evey week you guys are getting better and better…JP thanks for rocking out on the drums with us -love it

5.  Johnathan York, Lyndsey Minier, Brain Smith – thanks for putting the polish on our new set up – and guys thanks for not letting me win in Basketball…

6.  Max, Alex and Conner – handing out over 1,000 invitations is gonna help change people’s spiritual direction – thanks for doing something Big for God during Christmas!

Got to go over message again for tonight….anyone have a good one? J/J

6:00 and 7:30 tonight and tomorrow night…

Merry Christmas -Tom

I thought I would give you a recap of some of the beset moments of my week.

1.      Last Sunday and our worship night at Thrive Church – Baptizing the 12 people that said “YES -I’m going public for Christ”….amazing stuff!

2.      Slipping out mid day to see the movie ” Secretariat” with my wife…the movie was good – spending time with my wife was better!

3       Sitting in our Parenting 101 Growth group and learning that real parenting should happen between the conflicts – not during them.

4.      Talking to my Mom on the phone about her coming down as soon as she gets her new “wheel chair friendly” van – so excited, love her so much.

5.      Having the privilege of praying with Tina Martin as she continues to battle with cancer on the brain.  You never know how much faith you have until you need it…she has TONS!

6.      Seeing my in-laws arrive on Wednesday. It’s a gift to have family in our house (and help with the kids)

7.      Thinking about our vacation that starts this Sunday after church, come this Sunday it could be the shortest message yet – Going to be on a boat in the ocean….ready to relax and refresh.

Smiling right now

Tom

I have since come to realize I was living in a place called “Fantasy Island for Parents.”

Parenting is as much work as it is pleasure. Setting your child up for success takes intentionality, a team and some good ol’fashion strategy.  I’m excited that we have a church that can talk about these types of practical things.

I am truly looking forward to this Sunday at Thrive Church. We are going to break through some of the parenting myths that many of us experienced growing up. We are going to talk some strategies that will help us become “scream free” parents and hopefully raise “scream free” children that follow God.  If you have a friend, family member or co-worker that could use this talk, bring them with you. It’s going to be a great morning.

PS -We are also going to make an announcement that you’re going to love -seriously!

See you on Sunday / 9:30 and 11:00

Tom

PSS – Want to stay connected? Find me on Facebook and Twitter

Values Need Heat. It’s true…and it’s also a phrase that I learned from a pastor in Chicago named Bill Hybels. The things that we value need someone to excentuate, highlight or magnify them in order for them to be truly felt.

How many times have you heard a pastor say “we value this…” only to look around the church and not find a trace of it anywhere in the culture?  The truth is we are better at talking about values than living them out.  Here are some of ways that we are putting our values into practice at THRIVE.

*       Team’s Make the difference – We work really hard to “share ministry”. In our brief history we already have 12 teams with over 100 people using their gifts for God on a regular basis. It’s fun to see people serving God in their “sweet spot”.  Building Teams keeps people in ministry for the long haul while simultaneously connecting  people together.

*       No Perfect People allowed – Pretending is the quickest way to create a stagnate, religious organization. We constantly fight that by taking off our masks and sharing who we really are. It happens in my messages and in our growth groups. It’s in those moments that we have seen God do his best work in our lives…

*       Laugh Often – How do I know when it’s a good Sunday? – when I walk through our building and hear laughter – sometimes it’s in our auditorium – sometimes it’s in the halls….when you laugh often a bond forms and our guards come down…I’m so glad no one takes themself too seriously around Thrive Church and that we are able to experience joy and have fun together.

*       Excellence over perfection – This one is huge because some organizations push for perfection and everyone goes crazy in the process. Excellence on the other hand is simply doing the best you can with what you have. When you walk around our church people are committed to doing the very best with their gifts and talents and I believe that it honors God.  We are constantly evaluating, changing and building systems to become better but we give our self grace when we miss the ball and we grow from it!  That’s excellence.

These are just a few of the things that are making me smile and also make me love being apart of our community

Tom

What is Spiritual Growth?

This is a blog I thought was really worth reading from my buddy Dave Nelson in Kenosha WS. I love his thoughts on what a spiritually deep church is and isn’t. Definitely something to think about and apply to Thrive Church.

Enjoy – Tom

Church is Messy (Part 3)

This past week I learned that one of our initial launch team members has left Great Lakes Church over the issue of “spiritual maturity”. From their perspective, we’re lacking it. Life change isn’t happening as quickly as they think it should. If you feel this way, whether about GLC or some other church, BE VERY CAREFUL!

BE CAREFUL TO NOT…

…evaluate where other people are at in their spiritual journey, based on where you are at.

…assume that you know what God is doing in someone else’s heart.

…think that there is a “one-size-fits-all” approach to spiritual growth.

…force spiritual growth into a specific timeline.

…determine someone’s spiritual growth based on religious habits and personal Bible knowledge.

All you need to do is quickly read through the second half of the Bible and you’ll see that it was the biblical scholars and theologians of the day who were the ones most at odds with Jesus and his message. They were the LEAST spiritually mature. Why? ‘Cause they were so focused on everyone else that they rarely took time to evaluate their own heart and spiritual growth.

So here’s the big question, “What is one area of your life that God’s been trying to change, but you’ve been resistant?” Obedience to God in that area is your next step towards spiritual maturity!

If you say, “There is way more than one area in my life in which God is trying to change me.” Good. That means you’re focused on your spiritual journey rather than everyone else’s spiritual journey.

Posted by Dave Nelson at 8/27/2010 6:49 AM

According to Scott they blew the doors off the place!

Scott is an amazing leader that I got to know through my relationship with East Lake church in  Kenosha, WI. I am positive that big things are going to happen in their city.

Here are some highlights from Scott himself…..

“I am still pinching myself to see if this is real! What a day – 151 people showed up… More importantly 4 people used their connection card to indicate they were giving their lives to Christ…Thanks for everything – keep praying for us!”

Wow! I can’t tell you how excited I am to see a NEW-Life Giving church get off the ground. It was less than a year and a half ago that we were starting our own journey as a church. I am looking forward to partnering with Scott and Blue Ridge Church!

I’ve posted some pics below of Blue Ridge Church’s first Sunday. Let’s cheer for them and go check out their website and Facebook page. Hopefully we will see them soon!

Tom