Archive for category Next Right Step

signs of burnout or meltdown…

(Hello ….Today is a re-post guys…..a pastor in Anderson, SC named is Perry Noble. Great leader and pastor that has seen his church explode and has personally felt the effects of it.  I’ve seen to many of my friends in ministry crash and burn – because they couldn’t or wouldn’t see the signs….this is a must read and pass on…. -Tom )

My counselor shared a statistic with me two years ago that floored me…90% of the people entering ministry DO NOT RETIRE from ministry, they either quit or have some sort of moral/ethical failure that disqualifies them.

I’m not a rocket scientist…but I honestly do not believe that is what Jesus called us to OR what He wants for our lives.

AND yet so many of us (church leaders) struggle/wrestle with this (usually inwardly because if we said out loud that we are dying inside we fear that people may perceive us as weak!)

Here are ten signs that you are near a burnout and/or meltdown…

#1 – You are beginning to despise people and your compassion for them is continually decreasing rather than increasing.

#2 – You OFTEN think about doing something other than ministry…and your biggest desire isn’t to honor God and reach people but to simply find relief from the pressure that seems to be building daily inside of you.

#3 – You cannot remember the last time you simply had fun with family and friends…and joy is something you talk about but are not experiencing for yourself.

#4 – You are disconnected at home…when you get there you do not want to engage with your spouse or your children, you cannot enjoy being around them…you spend more time online than you do with your family…and you find yourself wanting to sleep all of the time.

#5 – You continually tell yourself and those you love that “this is just a really busy season and that you will slow down soon.”  (However, the truth is that you have been most likely “singing that same song” for years!)

#6 – You are continually becoming obsessed with what others say about you…and one negative comment from someone who does not like you can put you in an incredibly deep valley and cause you to feel hopeless.

#7 – You begin to make easy decisions rather than the right ones…because the right ones take too much work.

#8 – There is no hope in you…and, you actually despair life.  You have actually thought of death…and some have even entertained suicidal thoughts.

#9 – You are experiencing unexplained depression and/or anxiety.  You are even having panic attacks and you can’t explain it!

#10 – You are increasingly becoming withdrawn from family and friends.

“How did you come up with this list,” you ask…it’s quite simple, I went back to December 2007 until January of this past year and listed out the qualities that were the most prominent in my own life.  That’s right…my life!  I went through a trial of intense depression and anxiety during that time period and, the best way I can describe my life would be “dark!”

However, through me swallowing my pride and asking for help, the support of an incredible wife, the support of great friends and seeking out an incredible counselor…and the unbelievable mercy of God I broke free from my darkness this past January.  Oh sure, I still struggle with it more often than I wish I would…but I cannot tell you the incredible feelings of freedom and joy I’ve had since January that I haven’t had in YEARS!

God called us to do a lot of things for Him…but He did not call us to flame out or drop out.  I want what Paul said in II Timothy 4:7 to be true of all of us!  I want us to finish well!

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the office…

If you haven’t heard the news yet, it’s true. Thrive now has offices. We are leasing out a 1,000 square foot office / warehouse facility in Fulshear Office park off 1093.  I can already say getting this might be one of the best decisions we have made as a church.  Here’s why…

* we now have a place to host volunteers. Currently we have over 50 man hours being given each week – visitor follow up, putting together mailers, event planning, etc..etc… Our goal is to have this facility packed with people doing kingdom stuff each week!

* We now can have weekly meetings for Growth Groups, One youth , staff and Creative Team…no more restaurants or the natural distractions that come with them.

*  The  band rehearsal  happens in the warehouse in back  every week- that’s where they will be working on their first CD for this fall – so pumped.

* It is gives us a hub for planning services, building teams, brainstorming sessions and getting ready for all our weekend ministry.

Did I tell ya, it’s 3 minutes from some of the best ribs in TX – Dosiers BBQ!   The thing we are thankful for how  God opened some huge doors to make this space fit within our budget,  so we can continue to send mailers, hire staff and see God change lives. If our landlord Waylan Bolls is reading this – your the man!  Thanks for all your help.

Here is our  virtual tour…click over the pictures for live video feeds…

Tom

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Weekend thoughts…

I am pumped for this Sunday! We are pulling out the all stops. Considering the topic and some of the great things we have planned , it could be one of our most life-changing mornings yet….

Why RELATIONSHIP REHAB?   FACT:  ALL OF US NEED IT. A Relational Tune up is essential for everyone that wants to “Grow” and have better relationships and less conflict in life.

If you’re single, you can start fixing your relationship before you’re even in one. This series will help you start it off right.
I read a quote recently that fired me up. It essentially said, “Don’t take advice from people whose lives you don’t want to emulate.” Ok, I know this just sounds like common sense but think about it – where are you getting your advice from? People you respect or people your just comfortable with?  Just a thought!
Have a great weekend and go encourage someone! You will be glad you did.
Tom
PS – Go call that person right now that you have “wanted” to invite for church for the last million Sundays…this Sunday is going to be a game changer…do not come to church alone!

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We all need this…

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Christmas is on….

Well,  Tonight we are headed into 2 of 4 Christmas services at thrive. I am bouncing off the walls right now..I’m excited for our team, all the friends and relatives that will becoming and most of all – I’m excited about what God is going to do in people’s Hearts!  If you still haven’t got your tickets – go online and print them out at www.thrivechurch.cc

If you are still on the fence about coming..get off it now. (Note – sitting on fences only end up hurting your butt anyway)  Grab your friend – call your neighbor – and get in your car and come!   It’s going to be some of our best services yet….

Here are a few HUGE THANK YOUS that need to happen right now…

1.  Jez Babarcy and his whole family – you guys went over and above to make these services shine – proud of ya

2.  Ron Palmero – with out you the light’s would just go “on and off” – now they actually make the presentation better! Nice job

3.  Dave and Tricia Munson – all I can say is..never in my life have I seen two people give so much time to God…what you do is huge -we love you guys

4.  Thrive Band…evey week you guys are getting better and better…JP thanks for rocking out on the drums with us -love it

5.  Johnathan York, Lyndsey Minier, Brain Smith – thanks for putting the polish on our new set up – and guys thanks for not letting me win in Basketball…

6.  Max, Alex and Conner – handing out over 1,000 invitations is gonna help change people’s spiritual direction – thanks for doing something Big for God during Christmas!

Got to go over message again for tonight….anyone have a good one? J/J

6:00 and 7:30 tonight and tomorrow night…

Merry Christmas -Tom

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Seven things that made me smile (this week)

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I thought I would give you a recap of some of the beset moments of my week.

1.      Last Sunday and our worship night at Thrive Church – Baptizing the 12 people that said “YES -I’m going public for Christ”….amazing stuff!

2.      Slipping out mid day to see the movie ” Secretariat” with my wife…the movie was good – spending time with my wife was better!

3       Sitting in our Parenting 101 Growth group and learning that real parenting should happen between the conflicts – not during them.

4.      Talking to my Mom on the phone about her coming down as soon as she gets her new “wheel chair friendly” van – so excited, love her so much.

5.      Having the privilege of praying with Tina Martin as she continues to battle with cancer on the brain.  You never know how much faith you have until you need it…she has TONS!

6.      Seeing my in-laws arrive on Wednesday. It’s a gift to have family in our house (and help with the kids)

7.      Thinking about our vacation that starts this Sunday after church, come this Sunday it could be the shortest message yet – Going to be on a boat in the ocean….ready to relax and refresh.

Smiling right now

Tom

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Scream Free Parenting

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I honestly thought parenting would be easier. When my first child Molly was younger I used to think that when she was older she would listen to every word I say. She would obey fully without ever talking back. She would do what I asked the first time she heard it.

I have since come to realize I was living in a place called “Fantasy Island for Parents.”

Parenting is as much work as it is pleasure. Setting your child up for success takes intentionality, a team and some good ol’fashion strategy.  I’m excited that we have a church that can talk about these types of practical things.

I am truly looking forward to this Sunday at Thrive Church. Read the rest of this entry »

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Values Need Heat

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Values Need Heat. It’s true…and it’s also a phrase that I learned from a pastor in Chicago named Bill Hybels. The things that we value need someone to excentuate, highlight or magnify them in order for them to be truly felt.

How many times have you heard a pastor say “we value this…” only to look around the church and not find a trace of it anywhere in the culture?  The truth is we are better at talking about values than living them out.  Here are some of ways that we are putting our values into practice at THRIVE.
Read the rest of this entry »

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What is Spiritual Growth?

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What is Spiritual Growth?

This is a blog I thought was really worth reading from my buddy Dave Nelson in Kenosha WS. I love his thoughts on what a spiritually deep church is and isn’t. Definitely something to think about and apply to Thrive Church.

Enjoy – Tom

Church is Messy (Part 3)

This past week I learned that one of our initial launch team members has left Great Lakes Church over the issue of “spiritual maturity”. From their perspective, we’re lacking it. Life change isn’t happening as quickly as they think it should. If you feel this way, whether about GLC or some other church, BE VERY CAREFUL!

Read the rest of this entry »

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Blue Ridge Church Has Launched!

This past weekend some new friends of mine, Scott & Lisa Obenchain, launched Blue Ridge Church in Christiansburg, VA. .

According to Scott they blew the doors off the place!

Scott is an amazing leader that I got to know through my relationship with East Lake church in  Kenosha, WI. I am positive that big things are going to happen in their city.

Here are some highlights from Scott himself…..

“I am still pinching myself to see if this is real! What a day – 151 people showed up… More importantly 4 people used their connection card to indicate they were giving their lives to Christ…Thanks for everything – keep praying for us!”

Wow! I can’t tell you how excited I am to see a NEW-Life Giving church get off the ground. It was less than a year and a half ago that we were starting our own journey as a church. I am looking forward to partnering with Scott and Blue Ridge Church!

I’ve posted some pics below of Blue Ridge Church’s first Sunday. Let’s cheer for them and go check out their website and Facebook page. Hopefully we will see them soon!

Tom

Blue Ridge 1 Blue Ridge 2

Blue Ridge 3 Blue Ridge 5

blue ridge church

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