My counselor shared a statistic with me two years ago that floored me…90% of the people entering ministry DO NOT RETIRE from ministry, they either quit or have some sort of moral/ethical failure that disqualifies them.

I’m not a rocket scientist…but I honestly do not believe that is what Jesus called us to OR what He wants for our lives.

AND yet so many of us (church leaders) struggle/wrestle with this (usually inwardly because if we said out loud that we are dying inside we fear that people may perceive us as weak!)

Here are ten signs that you are near a burnout and/or meltdown…

#1 – You are beginning to despise people and your compassion for them is continually decreasing rather than increasing.

#2 – You OFTEN think about doing something other than ministry…and your biggest desire isn’t to honor God and reach people but to simply find relief from the pressure that seems to be building daily inside of you.

#3 – You cannot remember the last time you simply had fun with family and friends…and joy is something you talk about but are not experiencing for yourself.

#4 – You are disconnected at home…when you get there you do not want to engage with your spouse or your children, you cannot enjoy being around them…you spend more time online than you do with your family…and you find yourself wanting to sleep all of the time.

#5 – You continually tell yourself and those you love that “this is just a really busy season and that you will slow down soon.”  (However, the truth is that you have been most likely “singing that same song” for years!)

#6 – You are continually becoming obsessed with what others say about you…and one negative comment from someone who does not like you can put you in an incredibly deep valley and cause you to feel hopeless.

#7 – You begin to make easy decisions rather than the right ones…because the right ones take too much work.

#8 – There is no hope in you…and, you actually despair life.  You have actually thought of death…and some have even entertained suicidal thoughts.

#9 – You are experiencing unexplained depression and/or anxiety.  You are even having panic attacks and you can’t explain it!

#10 – You are increasingly becoming withdrawn from family and friends.

“How did you come up with this list,” you ask…it’s quite simple, I went back to December 2007 until January of this past year and listed out the qualities that were the most prominent in my own life.  That’s right…my life!  I went through a trial of intense depression and anxiety during that time period and, the best way I can describe my life would be “dark!”

However, through me swallowing my pride and asking for help, the support of an incredible wife, the support of great friends and seeking out an incredible counselor…and the unbelievable mercy of God I broke free from my darkness this past January.  Oh sure, I still struggle with it more often than I wish I would…but I cannot tell you the incredible feelings of freedom and joy I’ve had since January that I haven’t had in YEARS!

God called us to do a lot of things for Him…but He did not call us to flame out or drop out.  I want what Paul said in II Timothy 4:7 to be true of all of us!  I want us to finish well!

Here’s 4 things on my heart for YOU, US and our FUTURE

1. We had nearly 600 people show up last weekend and plus….people gave their life to Christ!  I love what God is doing in families at TC. It’s mind-blowing – we still a new church and God is working through us!!!! I love it. We can’t forget that the church exists to help people FIND and FOLLOW Christ…and when it happens – it’s worth celebrating!

2.  Last Weekend was one of the most FUN and EYEOPENING services yet! As we jumped into week two of our “Perfect Family” series we talked about the end game with our kids…..it’s not getting them to leave the house or go to college…it’s having a life-long FRIENDSHIP with them.  In order to get one we  have to engage in  a healthy behaviors during the earlier 3 phases – NURSE, KING / QUEEN and COACH. You can’t jump phases and you have to ask God for help – especially if you came from rough home life yourself. God has great plans for your family – believe it.

3.   This weekends message is titled…”Survival Guide to a Blended Home”. Coming from a blended home myself, I understand how over 50% of our population feels. Can God heal, change and help homes that are blended? Does God meet single parents with an additional grace for their situation…YES!  Can’t wait to share what God has helped me live through and put in my heart for this huge topic!

4.  People have coming up to me every week and introducing them self to me. One Question I have begun to ask every time is “have you signed up for a Growth Group”?  Groups are more than a program or a calender filler – they are the life blood of what our church is about. Church doesn’t begin when you walk in the doors- rather when you walk out….that means we should be more about relationships  than facilities and programs.  That’s where Groups step in -they are the best place to grow your faith, make friendships and get encouraged and supported…all the things a church should do… I am beyond pumped for this seasons groups…..Zumba, study groups, basketball, cooking….I think we have it all….except you – click www.thrivechurch.cc for a group list / sign up. Groups start the week of Oct 3

That’s it – loving you, our church and our future….bring a friend to church this weekend….seriously!

Tom

Here ya go…

* The loudest boos come from the cheapest seats – quit trying to please people – please God…the rest will come.

* Margin means getting the project accomplished and having the time to celebrate it before you move on to the next thing.

* Big Vision often scares people – give it out with wisdom and with a strategy to reach it.

* God is more interested in my heart before he ever is my success – and all real success comes from truly knowing His heart, so ask yourself – “who am I fooling anyway”?

* Staying authentically connected to God  results in an inward confidence and courage to lead – with out it…fear and chaos grows

* Embrace the beginnings!  It makes your story that much more compelling.

* When your tired – don’t make big decisions

* You can’t differentiate what you can’t define

*  Slow down and enjoy the people you are on the journey with – the goal :they will enjoy you!

* Take the time to encourage others that are about to go down the road you traveled – they will need it like you did!

* Treat your church like a family – period!

* Planning ahead allows everyone time and space to get on board with the plan.

* People grow at different paces – learn to celebrate everyone as they take their next step- whatever it is.

* Continue to Go Public – people need to hear about your church 5-10 times before they even think about coming.

* Be different – Be better – Be original….there are way to many carbon copies out there doing the same thing expecting different results. That’s insanity!

* Let people go that aren’t a fit for your culture – saves both of you future pain…

*  Laugh at your mess ups – hand off credit for your  wins.

go enjoy your day….

PS – here’s a pic of my Boy the “rock star”

Tom

When we started this church 19 months ago we had a vision to make church irresistible again. To introduce people to God that were distant or damaged. We wanted to create an environment where people don’t feel pushed but inspired to move toward God. Our dream was to create a place that actually gives life to people. When a church gives life to people..when it helps people understand how Grace works in our lives…when it makes you smile every time you walk in the front door….when the people and the message help transform your life….that church becomes irresistible. To who? To your friends, co-workers, family and neighbors.

I believe that Thrive is becoming one of those churches. I can’t wait to share with you all the vivid details about it in January. We are calling the series “Irresistible”.

I’m beyond excited. Would you start praying with me right now for it!
thrive – love going on the journey with you.

Tom

PS -Here’s the latest family pic. of the Elmore’s

I recently sat down with a bunch of pastors and the topic of prayer came up. It was refreshing to hear that I wasn’t the only one that struggled with this spiritual discipline. Over the last few weeks I’ve been attempting to be more focused on prayer. It’s helped me recognize  and respond to God during my daily routine.

Here are the 3 things that I’m praying the most for.

1. My wife and kids!
I realize that the area that the enemy would love to destroy is my family. Right now more than ever, I’m asking God to protect, reveal and strengthen my family.

2. Our Church
As we build community my prayer is that we also build deeper connections to Jesus. A church that puts others first and cares about the lost world around them becomes a powerful church. My prayer is that our community at THRIVE becomes more powerful as a result of our prayerfulness

3. My Mom
As many of you know my Mom has ALS. Its a disease that I’m praying God supernaturally shows up in. My Mom is staying with us right now and every day we spend time talking and sharing stories but I am desperately asking God to heal my mom.

What are you praying about right now?

PS – this Sunday kicks off our new series at Thrive we are calling “Your Story…in six words or less” It’s going to be strong – see you there!

Tom

Just came across this blog and thought you would enjoy it. By the way – all the reasons are 100% true….
Tom

Here are seven reasons your church plant won’t make it.

1. You imported your vision, mission and strategy from another church because you really don’t have a vision, mission or strategy.

2. You’re drunk with vision but haven’t developed healthy systems.

3. You sacrifice your family in the name of ministry.

4. You don’t talk about money.

5. You’re a cheap church planter who won’t spend money on leadership development for you or your staff.

6. You download all your sermons from the Internet because you don’t study, pray or read your Bible.

7. You started a church because, deep down, you have a problem with authority and don’t want a boss.

Michael Lukaszewski is the lead planter of Oak Leaf Church in Cartersville, Georgia.

Last Sunday at Thrive Church was one of our what I would call “GROWTH” Sundays. Looking back on it – It wasn’t perfect from beginning to end but it was a great opportunity-to get better and grow.  The result of last Sunday is I have had no less than 4 conversations this week with leaders in our church about building people and systems. What kind of systems are we talking about…

* Celebrating our teams – volunteers are the people that are invested and are committed to moving our church forward, I believe that they deserve the “red carpet” treatment from time to time – we have some exciting plans in store -looking forward to blowing the minds of our Dream Team this fall.
* Practicing our Services -our audio, video and speaking transitions need to get stronger. We want to make sure that when you bring a friend what we do on stage doesn’t feel haphazard, but rather prepared and intentional. We all know you often only get one shot at making a first impression.
* Creating processes that help make people feel connected from the moment someone walks in for the first time to in our church.
* Communicating clear expectations and defining “wins” to volunteers. We never want anyone to “guess” what the vision is….
* Developing our 101 and 201 classes into a “can’t miss” event on our church calendar.
* Building a team of creative types – we want to unleash ideas and giftings to make unforgettable  God moments when people walk through the doors every Sunday

Are we there yet – nope….but with God’s grace and power, we are well on our way. My prayer is we never feel like we’ve “arrived”. Life-giving  churches are the ones that even in their most successful moments realize they are STILL GROWING”

See you Sunday – we are talking about Scream Free Parenting….you know that neighbor that you hear yelling at their kids from down the block….bring them!

Tom

Values Need Heat. It’s true…and it’s also a phrase that I learned from a pastor in Chicago named Bill Hybels. The things that we value need someone to excentuate, highlight or magnify them in order for them to be truly felt.

How many times have you heard a pastor say “we value this…” only to look around the church and not find a trace of it anywhere in the culture?  The truth is we are better at talking about values than living them out.  Here are some of ways that we are putting our values into practice at THRIVE.

*       Team’s Make the difference – We work really hard to “share ministry”. In our brief history we already have 12 teams with over 100 people using their gifts for God on a regular basis. It’s fun to see people serving God in their “sweet spot”.  Building Teams keeps people in ministry for the long haul while simultaneously connecting  people together.

*       No Perfect People allowed – Pretending is the quickest way to create a stagnate, religious organization. We constantly fight that by taking off our masks and sharing who we really are. It happens in my messages and in our growth groups. It’s in those moments that we have seen God do his best work in our lives…

*       Laugh Often – How do I know when it’s a good Sunday? – when I walk through our building and hear laughter – sometimes it’s in our auditorium – sometimes it’s in the halls….when you laugh often a bond forms and our guards come down…I’m so glad no one takes themself too seriously around Thrive Church and that we are able to experience joy and have fun together.

*       Excellence over perfection – This one is huge because some organizations push for perfection and everyone goes crazy in the process. Excellence on the other hand is simply doing the best you can with what you have. When you walk around our church people are committed to doing the very best with their gifts and talents and I believe that it honors God.  We are constantly evaluating, changing and building systems to become better but we give our self grace when we miss the ball and we grow from it!  That’s excellence.

These are just a few of the things that are making me smile and also make me love being apart of our community

Tom

I love hanging out with emerging leaders and getting to speak to kids!

Tom

This a Blog post from a friend and leadership guru WIll Mancini…..it’s all extremely TRUE stuff – enjoy!

The 10 Things I’ve Learned in Ten Years of Visioning

* God still speaks

* If your vision is not stunningly unique, you probably don’t have one

* However clear the leader is, a surprising gap exists between the leader’s vision and the team’s clarity

* Leaders emotionally substitute two things for real vision: 1) simplistic answers (copycat vision) or 2) busyness (more is more)

* The easiest measure of sustained clarity is the ability to say “no” repeatedly, and feel good about it

* Followers need vision because the future is not here yet and their activity today lacks meaning

* The best way to know “what should be” is to do a better job knowing “what was,” “what is,” and “what could be”

* Vision moves through people not paper

* With a little training anyone can be an everyday visionary

* Vision dripping is more important than vision casting (#visiondrip)

Tom